Today is once again quote less. I warn you though, it is a bit of an opinionated post today. But it’s my blog, right?
I wanted to say two things: I am both a feminist american woman, AND a stay at home mother, both of which I am proud of.
Now, being a feminist doesn’t mean to me, that I go back to work after only three to six months of being with my newborn child. It means that I chose what was best for me and my daughter, and what was best for her, was for me to see her grow up, to be with her, breastfeed her, and truly be her mother.
Children are only small for a short amount of time. Spending eight hours in an office, and three or four with my family each day, does not sound right to me.
I say this because the other day I had picked up a book at a swap, about women empowering themselves, and becoming their dream, which in the case of the writer, was just a silly office executive. I’m sorry, but that is NOT my goal career. Nor, it is just to ridicule the stay at home mother and bash the idea as archaic when it is not.
I understand though, for my friends who’s husbands don’t work, or who don’t have husbands….I get it. Of course. You have to. I don’t. My husband works, and I choose to stay home with my kid. Because I love her. I’m not thinking of my silly career that really can end at any moment, because anyone can lose their job at a moment’s notice, or become ill and not be able to work. Shit happens.
Please don’t think that I’m pooping on women who work though. I’m not. I know that there are circumstances that may lead you to have to work. But I will say this: with ALL the issues I have with my mother, and believe me, I’ve got some….my own mother (who prides herself in being a career woman) stayed home with me for the first three or four years of my life. Even her, the math and science teacher with whom I am nothing like.
I say what I’m saying based on a status update I saw on facebook, of a buddy of mine. She wrote about how too often “feminist’s” view on family, children, and a stay at home mother, is wrong.
It is wrong for another woman to say that I am making a mistake, simply because I choose to put my daughter before my own pleasures. It is wrong to say that it doesn’t “make financial sense” for a woman in this age to stay home. I love my family, and I love the baby in my belly, and I can’t wait to stay home with her/him and take it to art museums, and to the park, and libraries as I do with my little one, Dakota. This makes me happy. It does.
One cannot make the judgement that it is a religious culture, because trust me, I am not a religious woman whatsoever.
When I wake up in the morning, I go and make my coffee, eat my boring raising bran with almond milk, and about an hour later my daughter comes creeping in, and sits on my lap. She smiles and we snuggle. We play those silly facebook games together. She watches a movie while I make breakfast, and we eat breakfast together.
This is my life, and I love it.
And it is WRONG to judge, or to say that I am less than, simply because of my choice to stay home and raise my children. I made this choice myself.
I love my family, and it is because of my husband’s support that I even decided to take myself seriously as an artist. I view my husband as my equal. We lead our family together. Both of us.
It is because of the birth of my daughter that I then decided to truly pursue my art-because I wanted her to be proud of me, I wanted to show her how far a girl like me could come, so that she could see how far she can go also.
I don’t buy her baby dolls or barbie dolls and thankfully, she does not ask for them. She likes the color pink. And she likes to fancy herself a princess. But she loves robots, and trains also.
And let me get this straight for you: no one tells me what my place is. I CHOOSE my life, not because I am a woman, but because the life I lead makes me happy.
So today’s message? Choose the life you want because it makes you happy, and because it brings you peace.
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