This week is another quote-less post, because I want to share what’s on my heart.
I’ve told you before, about my past experiences with my parents. I’ve lately decided to be pretty open about it. As I’d mentioned once before, it’s my Facebook buddy Cristal Hobbs that really prompted me to be more open about what I’ve gone through.
It is quite easy, when you grow up abused, to believe your abuser, when they tell you were weren’t abused at all, to believe them when they tell you you deserved it, to believe the negative words spoken over you. It is a whole other thing, to decide to be strong, to decide to be tougher than the words they speak, and decide that YOU measure your worth.
I can’t give you a formula for how I got through the pain, as I still am dealing with it. What I can say, is that faith in a higher power helps. Whatever path works for you, I say. Connect to your spiritual path.
The other thing that helped me, was reaching out to my husband when I was in pain (we met when we were both 20 years old, so he’s been through a lot of the drama with me).
I never really reached out, because I always had this stupid idea in my head that I deserved the way they treated me. In fact, they even rallied a friend of theirs, to “reach out to me” in a rather hurtful and insulting email, telling me that she also believes I did indeed deserved to treated the way, I was treated.
Well, guess what: I don’t. I am not the things they spoke over me. I am not the words they spoke over me. I am the person I CHOOSE to be, not the person they think I am.
And another thing I had to do: I had to realize that I will never gain their approval. I won’t. And that’s okay. I can approve of me. I can be happy for me, because life truly is beautiful and amazing, and when you have children, they teach you this fact. It was being pregnant and giving birth to my daughter that made me truly see what a REAL mother is, and how beautiful life is.
I truly believe that when you have a child, it is a bit impossible to not believe in a higher power.
So I say all this, because I want to let you know, that life is amazing and beautiful and sweet. Weather you believe in the creation theory, or evolution, this world is amazing. Life is so beautiful.
Don’t let anyone hinder your experience in life. Don’t let anyone speak negativity over you. Don’t give them that power. You can empower yourself. You can love yourself, because we were put on this earth to love and seek nirvana.
And when you want to seek enlightment, go to your spiritual place, and seek out your higher power. Then go make art. That’s what I do. I go meditate, then I make art, and draw and paint, and make jewelry. And then, it’s baking and cooking with my little baby girl.
I love my family so much, for the lessons in life that they have taught me. My husband has taught me these twelve years with him, that life is amazing and beautiful and everything around you is art. Life is art. Your computer is art. Your hand is art. Everything is art.
My daughter has taught me what life is, and what it is to truly love.
So, my message to you, is to not look to those who hurt you, for lessons in life. Look to your higher power, and look to yourself. You determine your fate, you determine your worth. No one else.
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