Day 249: Hand Embroidered Baby Book
“A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure.” -The Buddha
I had this happen to me. You know, there is a difference between telling your friend the truth, and being a little jealous. We women are so competitive of each other. you tell your friend, oh guess what, blah blah blah…and she automatically tries to top you! Or worst, she inadvertantly belittles it.
For example, you tell your friend, “oh, I’m going to teach at this scrapbook store in manhattan!” and she says, “oh THAT place. Isn’t it far from the trains?” Or something like that. That is so annoying. That’s not what I mean when I say I’m telling you the truth in love.
I had a friend who did something I totally disagree with, and could see that it was damaging someone else. But she persisted. So I told her, dude…relax man. After that, she stopped speaking to me. I guess the truth is often hard to hear. We inflate our egos so much, that we think that our friends are just here to make virtual love to us, and stroke our ego. But that is a shallow excuse for a friendship, and one that will not last. A REAL friend tells you when you are fucking up, and making a mess of yourself. THAT is a person who loves you. Because just as your parent or spouse looks out for you, and (hopefully) protects you from harm, so should a friend. A mother that does not teach her children does not love her children. In the same way, a spouse who just lets you fuck up all topsy turvy everywhere, does not also care too much for your well being. So how can a friend stand back and let you screw up your life, or make mistakes? I mean sure, I can’t control you. But I can damn well tell you when you’re making a mistake. And I should. Because if I don’t, and I know you are making a mistake, am I being a true friend, or spouse? No. And that’s that. Accept the truth. Speak the truth in LOVE. Don’t poo-poo on your friend’s ideas. That, you can just keep to yourself, frankly. I hate it when I tell a friend an idea and she poo poos on it. Learn the balance.
Friendship is hard stuff, truly. It really is. What makes it difficult, is the part where you relate to the person. It’s worst than marriage, because at least in marriage you have made a commitment to love and cherish the person. With friendship, you haven’t made any commitment, so that makes it easy for you to just stop speaking to a person, simply because they told you the truth. It’s easy to escape. But don’t. Don’t escape. Don’t hide behind your life. Just face it. Talk about it. Communicate. And when all else fails, do what guys do: wait a few weeks, then pretend it never happened (just kidding, sort of).
Today, I almost finished the baby book for a customer. It is hand bound quality watercolor, and a fabric cover. The name is hand embroidered and hand designed by my husband and I. I used carbon paper to transfer the name image onto the fabric. The thread I used is DMC Threads. I love that their thread doesn’t tangle as easily.