My Quest for Nirvana: Day 4-The Wish Book
“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.”
I’ve been thinking lately about how difficult it is to maintain a friendship. And then I read this, and it puts it into perspective for me.
Living in the city makes it difficult to meet people, or have a sense of community. I often wonder why this is.
I am writing this, and telling you that it is a hard subject for me to write about. I grew up in a rural New Jersey, not in the hustle and bustle of New York City, where no one has time for anything, least of all returning a phone call.
It took me a long time, and I am still learning that friendships really do come and go. Growing up, I moved around a lot. So I didn’t have a “best friend” as some people do. I’m perfectly okay with that, and I’ve made peace (more or less) with my past. I’m not really thinking about that now.
My point is though, that at times I’ll see grown women my age say, oh my best friend and I…blah blah blah…and at first, when I heard that some years back, I thought, well that’s childish. Best friend? Jose (my husband) is my best friend. I thought that was a childish thing, something only teenagers boast about.
But everyone is different and not everyone has a best friend. I don’t really believe in best friends. Is there anyone besides your partner in life that is your best? Not for me. Not really. Labeling like that just puts an implied responsibility on someone. I don’t like labels at all. There are of course, those of you reading who may be single or something. I just mean that we all have a soulmate. I beleive that. Perhaps our partner in life, is just a friend who has always been there-like Will and Grace on the TV show. But I am just uncomforatble with the label “best friend”. I feel like it just implies things. Maybe it’s just me.
I believe in being a friend, period. Don’t make me your best or worst, just have me as a friend.
I’m reminded now of a conversation I had last night with my mother in law. Being superstitious and into astrology as I am, I asked her about a friend of mine who happens to be the same sign as she (cancer). This particular friend goes through the habit of going through a few months where we speak all the time, then a month or so where she, I suppose, needs her space. So I give it to her (at least I think I do).
I asked her why this was so, was it a thing that most cancers did. She reminded me that Cancer’s sign is the Crab. Crabs live their life in and out of the sand. So it reminded me that yes, sometimes our friends retreat because they need their space. I know I do. I go through periods where I just want to be home and create.
So the lesson for today is to appreciate what you have while you have it. I’ve mentioned it before and i’ll mention it again, there is power in craft communities. I host a meetup group (two actually), for this reason. To have some sense of community, and friendship. At least there, I know I’ll meet someone new, and have a chance to be inspired by another fellow artist.
When we find our friends retreating, we should just take it as a time to incubate, to meditate, and work on our art.
So I’m posting today, a wish book I made with a friend. It’s hand bound, and a work in progress. A wish book is a simple book that is bound, an inside holds just that: your wishes. I’m posting it today, because it’s a project I started with my friend Lenina.
I won’t show the insides, because it’s a little personal. Sorry. Wishes are best when kept a secret. Plus it’s ugly. There, I said it. The book is bound with chipboard pieces, and the inside pages are made with plain colored cardstock. I used blue and red papers inside, since blue symbolizes healing and red symbolizes good luck, prosperity, and romance.
The butterfly appears on the cover as a symbol of change that I desire. The flower is of course a symbol of beauty. The cover is decorated with some handmade paper that I bought somewhere or other. I think at Dick Blick.
It’s easy to make a wish book like this! Make one yourself, or make one for a friend!